That Shitty Feeling
I forgot to tell you about something very noteworthy. It felt not like me. I was involved with a confession thingy and was stuck in there. Gosh! I don't know what to do that very moment. The feeling was familiarly strange. I haven't felt something like that for more than a year already and now my heart recalled how it felt like. Duh!
Here's the thing. I made someone cry and it's a he. You know that feeling of guilt although you yourself know that it's not your fault if you don't like commitments, promises, obligations, extra responsibilities, waiting and being waited. But that fact hurt someone in a very unexpected way you could never imagine possible. Maybe the fact that I became numb because of the past heartaches I experienced made me unable to consciously feel what I was supposed to feel really or understand somehow. I was honestly thinking everything (almost) was just superficial and just something fun to do or spend some time with. But I guess it's not. Expectations raised without my know-how. And although I love people who are positive, that optimism had a negative effect in my system. I don't like false hopes. I just want to be honest and that's what I did. But gosh! Another proof that 'Truth hurts.'
Here's another thing (clearer one). My A2 original family happened to keep in touch with our A1 classmates and we liked that. But I never thought he (him) would fall for her (me). I honestly thought he was still in love with someone from his past that she doesn't mind all the teasing at all. She never expected any love from him at all because of that silent assumption. Tsk tsk. His expectations raised, he thought she was into him too. Ouch! I know it hurt. But she doesn't like to be lectured about jealousy and stuffs. And so she clarified through FB Status about her not wanting any commitments and other stuffs. BANG! Another bomb exploded. It hurt him so much!
Guilty guilty guilty! Yes she's guilty for being the reason for his sadness but innocent for that crime. lolx..duh..i don't want to talk about it anymore. The important thing now is that everything's fine. She was able to deal with the complicated situation which costed her a vague pledge of not involving herself to any other affairs because it would break his heart seeing her having any other affair with other man. :)
Here's the thing. I made someone cry and it's a he. You know that feeling of guilt although you yourself know that it's not your fault if you don't like commitments, promises, obligations, extra responsibilities, waiting and being waited. But that fact hurt someone in a very unexpected way you could never imagine possible. Maybe the fact that I became numb because of the past heartaches I experienced made me unable to consciously feel what I was supposed to feel really or understand somehow. I was honestly thinking everything (almost) was just superficial and just something fun to do or spend some time with. But I guess it's not. Expectations raised without my know-how. And although I love people who are positive, that optimism had a negative effect in my system. I don't like false hopes. I just want to be honest and that's what I did. But gosh! Another proof that 'Truth hurts.'
Here's another thing (clearer one). My A2 original family happened to keep in touch with our A1 classmates and we liked that. But I never thought he (him) would fall for her (me). I honestly thought he was still in love with someone from his past that she doesn't mind all the teasing at all. She never expected any love from him at all because of that silent assumption. Tsk tsk. His expectations raised, he thought she was into him too. Ouch! I know it hurt. But she doesn't like to be lectured about jealousy and stuffs. And so she clarified through FB Status about her not wanting any commitments and other stuffs. BANG! Another bomb exploded. It hurt him so much!
Guilty guilty guilty! Yes she's guilty for being the reason for his sadness but innocent for that crime. lolx..duh..i don't want to talk about it anymore. The important thing now is that everything's fine. She was able to deal with the complicated situation which costed her a vague pledge of not involving herself to any other affairs because it would break his heart seeing her having any other affair with other man. :)
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