Fourth and Final (I guess)

This is a very looong post. :) but lots of love on the last parts. 

Today was spent with a lot of sleep, reading, and surfing. The truth is I haven't finished studying any of the subjects yet. Without finishing one subject, I jump into another. Now, this is procrastination. For the idle moment - while I'm not so in the mood of continuing reading my books and notes, lemme share you the whole day happening of August 18, 2012 -- the day of our fourth monthsary of trial version and supposed to be the final. *Day check: 122nd day of Trial Version*

It was a Saturday. We had a slightly hard time accepting the fact that we won't be seeing each other since it happened to be a weekend plus exam is fast approaching. All in all, it's destiny who wanted us not see each other for that day.

He sent me home the night before that and we talked about the next day...that we wanted to see each other but sad to say, we couldn't because of time constraint. No more gifts this time. Awwww. But that's not the only thing that matters.

Then he mentioned that he would be at SM by Saturday night. It was a family dinner date. But he couldn't eat with them because of the fact that he cannot eat foods containing MSG. Yeah, and that would be forever. (Awww :( ) He said he would just be roaming around the mall. It was implied that he was thinking maybe I could come and we could have a mini date or whatever. Yes, it was implied but I just like hearing him say it himself. Haha! I said it was so remote that I would go there by evening...like seriously, what would I do there? But honestly, "HE" is enough to be my reason to go.

That night we were texting...that maybe...just maybe he could go out and we could  celebrate the day of our fourth monthsary. I was hoping that he really could but I doubted it already. His mom wouldn't allow that kind of arrangement especially exam is fast approaching.

Then he opened the topic about him being in SM by evening but then he realized that plausibly, I wouldn't come because his Mom, Grandma, Titas, cousins and the rest of their family would be there. He knew I never like it whenever they're present. I mean not as in I never like it because I don't like them. It's just that I never like it...or lemme rephrase, I don't like (for now) thinking of the possibility that he might introduce me to them. Seriously, I'm not ready. I'm kinda shy, chicken, or choose what you wanna call me, I admit it, I become coward in times like these.

I remembered last time when he almost introduced me to his Grandma at Bigby's Robinson...almost. I refused to come with him. But his Grandma saw me. *compliment* Ayeeee. That was according to what he said that day. I don't know if it was so impolite or just alright not to show myself that time. Sorry! :) My bad.

Back to the main day story. *next page*

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual because I still had to go to school to reprint my receipt for my exam permit and to pay my Business College fees. It was Kier's birthday that day (his friend). Their barkada was supposed to have a dude celebration. Every one invited him but as expected, he wasn't able to come.

Honestly, I was hoping that maybe...just maybe my phone would beep...that I'll be reading a message from him saying "Sasha, I just woke up and let's have lunch together..." or whatever. But there was none. I guess he was still asleep and that time, it was already impossible for us to have lunch together since it's so late.

I finished my business at school after some annoyingly heedless fault by the student assistant in the Bursar's Office which delayed my entire schedule in a major major way. Here's a quick story about that miffing happening. I already paid my tuition last week but I lost my receipt and statement of account which were already approved for the claiming of exam permit. I went straight to the third window and informed the student assistant about my concern of reprinting my receipt. He firmly said I needed to fall in line. And I was like "Seriously?" *single brow up* I had no choice if that's the policy. Thank goodness I saw my friend who let me insert before her. 

When it was my turn already, I told the staff my purpose. The he just said, "just proceed to the side window and open your case..." I felt so irritated thinking about the time I wasted in falling in line only to find out that I could simply get my reprinted statement of account with approval in the side window. Arrrg. By the time I could claim my exam permit, the registrar office was closed already. Sad thing, they are only open half-day during Saturdays.

I went to KCC. I was hungry. But I don't feel like eating that time...alone. So what I did was I bought a Pedrico's Solo Pizza and a Virginia Hotdog-on-Stick , I guess that was substantial. I received a text from him saying good morning and sorry because he couldn't come. His Mom didn't let him. I completely understood. But kinda sad, too...

I was waiting for one o'clock that time. I had to go to MSU-CETD to meet Kuya Adrian for the Practical Accounting 1 book by Valix. For the mean time, I dropped by at book sale. I saw cool books in there but my cash was not in perfect timing with my desire, so, you know what's next already.

Then I saw this book entitled "Superflirt" by tracey Cox. It's a book containing different methods of flirting to men and women. Honestly, I did enjoy scanning some of its pages. I don't know if it was for real but I guess it was based on science and not just purely fiction. The whole time I was scanning the pages, I was hiding the title on the cover with my left hand. I'm not so comfortable letting anyone see I was reading that kind of book although I was just checking it out since that would turn out to be just the same. Then I heard a voice in front of me, "Shahara...?"

I immediately looked up. I saw a guy in front of me. He was very familiar. I was aware that my facial expression showed that I completely did't know him. But the truth was I know I knew him. I just don't know when and where and who he really is. I just smiled. I didn't know any better thing to do.

"You really can't remember me, do you?" he asked. I couldn't afford to deny it.

Then the next seconds were spent with a little chit chat...as automatic as that. He started asking how my life was and I also asked back some of his questions. He also asked me about Rean and I. He really waited for my answer because I unconsciously made a crunchy laughter after his question. He was curious about how we went. So I told them that nothing really happened between us like what they expected. It was so looong ago, I said. I also mentioned about Rean's liking to Shandy which is very supported by the whole barkada. He was a bit disappointed. He was once a believer of our story (not qualified to be called a love story I believe).

Then I glimpsed at my pink digi watch only to find out that it was past one o'clock already. I still had to meet Kuya AJ for the Practical Accounting 1 book. So I slowly opened to him my idea of leaving. Then he said he was about to leave too so why not leave together instead. Before we were able to come out of the bookstore he finally reminded me of his name.

"It's Kimpee, by the way..."

Then I remembered almost everything...almost. He was a friend from Kiamba. I met him when I was fourth year high school during the different division level contests.

*wave goodbye*

Then I went to MSU -CETD and claim the book I borrowed from Kuya AJ. Ate Cherry was also there. She is his girlfriend by the way. Next stop was to go to Medical Plaza and have my second month flu vaccination. Home sweet home.

Another sweet thing destiny did for us that night. My sister said we're going to SM that night. And we did. We went to Gymboree where Alexxa and I played with high spirits.

We were texting at the same time. Then he called...informing me that he's outside. My heart pounded upon the thought of finally seeing him. Destiny really has a lot of surprises. After a couple of minutes, our time was up. Time to leave the Gymboree place.

Then I happily went outside to meet him with a bright smile on my face. I'm so glad I saw him that night. Then my brother-in-law said that we could stroll for awhile while they were in the supermarket.

We smiled. *Thumbs up*

That was really the first time that we got a chance to meet up on the exact day of our trial version monthsary. During the first, we had our summer class. Second, still we had a class. Third, we were busy because of the day's event PICPA day at MSU.

We smiled because of the thought that we really now can it a date night. We also knew that we really had a super limited time so we had to make the most of the time we got. It was a mini date night, I can say. We spent the limited time talking about random stuffs, past, present and future.

I believe this is the final monthsay for our Trial version relationship. The term is about to end. I don't know what's next...but the truth is I have an idea of what's about to happen...I mean the next chapter. I just don't wanna spoil everything...afraid that it may not come to reality if I spit out anything. Haha!

But for the four months time. I can say I really enjoyed everything we shared. I would never regret every fraction of second I spent with him...everything I gave, every word I said, every touch I made, every smile I  curved, every poem I composed,  every laughter I burst, every tear I shed.

It feels so amazing to meet a person whom you feel so comfortable to be with, to share every story of your life, to do crazy stuffs with. Sometimes I wonder if we are so much alike that we feel so compatible with each other or we are so opposite that we feel so attracted towards each other. I know I sound so conceited right now. Haha. But bear with me.

He knows me so much...like a memorized poem. He knows how I think. But actually that's the same on my part (except for the lessons..lolx! he's a genuis!).

Four months ago, I was still afraid to involve myself into any relationship. But he's persistent. He made me take a risk and I didn't regret that I took the risk -- him. It's really worth it. One of the best songs that I can relate much is Cher Lloyd's song "With Ur Love".

Lemme relate it to you...here's the lyrics of the song.

Baby u're the best cuz u worked me outI keep building walls up but u teared them downI'm fighting I don't wanna like it but u know I like itBut u know I like it like it like it
He's really the best because he did try to make me feel that everything's okay despite of my weird personality. One of the reasons I push away people (guys) is because I'm afraid I just might hurt them like what always happened and eventually I hurt myself too because of stupid decisions.
 More often than not, I don't have this confidence to decide what's really best for me. I hate that fact. I fought every romantic feelings I had and made my head prevailed than my heart. I learned to control my feelings...to keep myself away from getting involve or cause any heartbreak. 
Sometimes I don't know what I like and other times I lose what I like before I realize it. But this guy made me realize unconsciously that I like it...that I like the feeling.
Used to always think I was bullet proofBut u got an AK and ur blowing throughExplosive, u don't even know it, I want u to know itI want u to know it know it know it
I thought I'm so strong. I felt like a Ruby...who thinks she's the strongest but actually, Diamond is the strongest. It been years...long enough for me to believe in myself that I'm strong enough to ignore or choose to ignore my feelings. But this guy has his own weapon...a very effective one. 
He blew me which made me realize I'm not God...I'm just a mere human being...a feeble creature who is designed to love and be loved...powerless to deny nature. I'm just another damsel in distress unconsciously waiting for her knight in his shining armor.
All of them other boys can walk awayThey ain't even in the game (cause they know that you owned it)
By the time we implemented the trial version, we were not really exclusive...yet we're regularly dating. Although it's a fact that we're not exclusive, still he promised me that I'm the only one...better be. But he said he's willing to have a wooing fight in case someone would dare. 
I noticed that guys who have this more than friends intention started to feel afraid to come near me because of him. I can't blame them. He looks scary. Haha! Guys rather approach me thru facebook or phone than dare to talk to me in person.
But I guess it took me a period of time before I realized that in the first place, they can simply walk away coz there's already someone who owned the game. Multipliers are not allowed.
U got this swag u got this attitudeWanna hear u say my nameCuz u got me
He has this personality that is not ordinary...and what I meant by not ordinary, it means not ordinary for other people. In a nutshell, some people don't like him because of his attitude and all. People easily judge other people, he's a subject to that. And, I admit, I was once one of those people who don't like him and thought he's someone who thinks so highly of himself.
But everything was changed in an extraordinarily presto rate. I learned to understand his personality by the time I gave myself a chance to know him better. I was so curious too about what kind of personality he really has...about what's the hidden truth behind his mask, literally and figuratively.
[Chorus]Flying with ur love, shining with ur love, riding with ur loveI feel like I'm on top of the world with ur loveOne hit with ur love can't quit with ur love so sick but so whatI feel like I'm on top of the world with ur love
The chorus speaks of my feelings, literally and figuratively. ♥
[Cher Lloyd]Everybody wants what I got with youCuz I'm standing on top with a killer viewInspired feeling like a million, I'm one in a millionI'm one in a million million millionI ain't even here I'm in outer spaceLike I'm venus or mars in the milkey wayIt's crazy, what ur doing to me, how u do it to me
How u do it to me to me to me
All of them other boys can walk awayThey ain't even in the game (cause they know that you owned it)Cuz they know that u own itU got this swag u got this attitudeWanna hear u say my nameCuz u got me
[Chorus]Flying with ur love, shining with ur love, riding with ur loveI feel like I'm on top of the world with ur loveOne hit with ur love can't quit with ur love so sick but so whatI feel like I'm on top of the world with ur love

The whole song is full of love and I'm so into it :)) God Bless to our next chapter.