Ken oh Ken (My Little Epic Love Story)

#drama

Blame the weather.

Last night, October 23, 2014...all of a sudden, the rain poured. There were lightning and thunder and the wind blew so hard. And there was a city blackout for almost an hour. It was almost 12 AM but the power wasn't back yet. Tss.

I actually don't mind all of those. What matters only to me was the fact that I couldn't connect to the internet because the power is down and I couldn't greet Ken a happy happy birthday by 12 AM. Well, I know it may sound kinda lame and too much to feel that way but to us, it has been our tradition for years to greet each other at exactly 12 AM during special occasions. But how am I supposed to do that?

Well, don't ask me to simply text him because it's forbidden. Well, it's a private deal. So, don't ask.

So to cut it short, I wasn't able to greet him at 12 AM and the internet connection wasn't back until noon. But I couldn't help it this morning so I texted him. Haaaaa! Deal breaker. But then, there was this tampo tampo because I greeted him very late. Nauna pa daw yung mga people na whatever. Haha. And so I explained to him everything. But I find him so cute every time he does the tampo tampo effect. I know he's not serious...he's just goofing around and messing with me which is really effective. My cute Ken. Haaaaaaa!

But then he said I did not exercise the BDO. Haha. Well, it's another private joke. Remember the BDO tag line? "In BDO, we find ways."

And he insisted that I didn't find ways. Hahaha. Cute. Anyway, I had some pretty explanations and he had no choice but to accept them. Heeeee. And then he sent me a photo from the ever famous 9gag. I know some stuffs were quite mature but I also know which ones he really meant. 

And then I read it and I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop my tears from coming out. Ewwww. So lame, Hara. So lame. But that's me...although I hate to admit it but I'm really a crybaby.

I guess it's because I'm just sad because of the fact that we love each other but we can't be together. It sucks. It really really sucks! 

I know...Ikki and Sasha aren't Ikki and Sasha anymore. But there are just things that are so hard to change. Ikki and Sasha may not be Ikki and Sasha like before...but there's still Ken Pancakes and Barbara Cookies...I don't know  when or how will that ever be changed. Or the better question would be, will that ever be really changed?

We both know how Cupid and Destiny have been conniving for this epic love story. Cupid has been constantly using his magical bows and arrows and shoot us straight in the heart and then Destiny will always find her way to keep us apart.

Beautiful.  Really beautiful. But...what the h*ll!? We don't deserve this kind of ending.

And so, I asked him, "Do you want that to be us?"

He replied, "We already do most of that stuff in the list. Haha. I won't strive for a perfect relationship. Just a happy one with you. Oh. Kuyaw akong reply noh? Haha. I'm betting you're smiling."

True. And he just knows me too well. He knows what can make me smile, make me laugh, make me cry, make me jealous, make me angry, and most of all, make me love him more. Ugh! I'm just not sure if he's doing them on purpose. Haha. 

THE REAL DEAL.

Now that  we're both CPAs, we are to figure out what we are gonna do with our lives. I hate to say goodbye. But I had to. We had to. 

So we planned this last date. I don't know what's gonna happen but I hope it won't get dramatic. I want my last memories with him to be joyful and peaceful and no tears involved. Haha

I won't strive to perfection ika nga but I intend to capture as many moments as possible...coz I don't know, maybe this would be the last time that we would be this close...this young and so in love. But I honestly hope not.

The future will always be a mystery. I just hope that mystery has a little space for him and me. So for the mean time, I intend to enjoy my life and make the most of it. I'm honestly not into relationships at the moment. I feel like I despise romantic relationships.

I also intend to reserve everything for the one...but I still hope it would still be Ken. A new guy would be oh so hard to adjust. But the truth is I'm also scared to die alone. Haha. So I literally asked Ken to do the things that he needed to do so he can come back before I'll settle for someone else. Haha. Now that's funny. I'm actually open for other possibilities like a miracle would happen and I'll fall in love with someone else...although the chance is very small. But it's possible.

I just hope that whoever that guy is, I hope that he brought with him tons of courage to never give up on me. And I hope he won't get jealous when he finds out how deeply in love I am with Ken before he appears in my life.

WHAT HE SAID. WHAT I SAID.

"Not now."

He literally said, "Not now."

And I said,

"Until then."

Ever since then, we both think we have the right love at the wrong time. If only we fell in love with each other at our twenties, we believe life would be less complicated.

We fell in love at the time when he literally has no freedom to do what he wants and I on the other hand am too immature to prioritize our relationship over my image and my friends. And we thought that if we met each other during our twenties, we would have been better persons...like he would have a so-called liberty in doing whatever he wants and spend time with whoever he wishes. And I on the other hand would be more mature in taking serious commitments, following relationship rules, stop goofing around with guys and me being manhid according to him (I still stand with my argument that there's nothing wrong with being friends with these people).

So we will be like,

"See you when I see you.

  Hug you if we get through,

  Put you in my dreams and chant,

  Love you 'til I can't."

xoxo

(first post in "How I met your father series posts")