Alexander Yssabelle

So part of the change is finding purpose in my every post.

So this blog happen to be like an online journal/diary for my adventurous and crazy loving soul. It also reminds me of how awesome my life has been just by visiting some post from previous months or years such as victory parties, grand vacation, dates, poems of love and other joyful posts.

This blog not only contains joyful posts but sad and dramatic ones as well. There were posts which sound so stupid and desperate and hopeless and helpless. But I don’t wanna delete them. They remind me of my youthful days when I was still hot-and-cold and very impulsive. Okay, you got me, I’m still hot-and-cold and impulsive even in my 21st year. This post is even the result of my red-and-white decision.

Those dramatic posts when published involved some bucket of tears. Now, I only laugh at them thinking how crazy and stupid I was. They also remind me that, “There’s a rainbow always after the rain.” cuz I also remember how I was able to recover after such storm and moved on with a huge smile.

Now I’d like to find purpose maybe not just for my every post but in an overall level--my adventures, my struggles, life lessons I learned, my dreams--what are they for?

I thought for a while.

Hmm.

Who am I kidding? Of course, not for a while but for a significant amount of time.  Finding purpose to whatever you are doing isn’t that easy. It took me a long while to figure it out that even now I am not sure of it. But it’s worth a shot. 

It can be a source of inspiration or motivation especially now that I’m experiencing a (too) early life crisis.

Two words.

ALEXANDER YSSABELLE.

Oh they aren’t even words in the English dictionary. It’s a name--a combination of two names.

She’s my daughter. My baby girl. My little princess.

Well, soon to be.

Is it possible to love someone so much even if he/she doesn’t exist, yet? Even if you haven’t met her?

Now I hope you, my Alexander Yssabelle, find the rest of my posts (even the old ones) useful in your journey towards a happy life. May you find peace having a glimpse of my thoughts during my youth and my early adult life. May you enjoy life like I did. And may you find courage to follow your dreams no matter what.

Years from now, I'll surely change especially when reality bites and certain situations demand me to change. So I'd like to preserve some of my thoughts and views about the beauty of this life.

You only live once, my princess. Make good choices.

But that doesn't mean you need to be so careful that you'll forget to live.  Guard your heart but don't be afraid to love and give your best. Do your very best every time but don't be afraid to fail. It may sound so cliche but it's  true, in failure comes valuable lessons that you'll never forget. Forget the past that makes you bitter and always strive to move forward and upward but always keep your feet on the ground.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Your 21 year-old Mom