Take A Drive To Memory Lane

So lemme have this exercise for a few minutes in recognition to my fear of forgetting all my precious memories due to Alzheimer's disease or merely hypochondria.

So previous night I was at my boyfriend's place and suddenly, some of his friends showed up at the gate with their motorcycles. I only recognized one of them the moment their motorcycles halted at the gate. But I was aware that there was a girl and one of the familiar face did a little impact on me which later on turned into more than little.

Truth be told, I was angry. Upset. Furious even. I felt rage. My blood was almost literally boiling. My tears even wanna come out because of extreme anger. Why? Well, it was just for a very simple reason. We had clearly set that night to be ours but then he let that thing happened. He let his friends come over.

His excuse was that he never thought his friends were serious abut coming over that's why he let them think it's okay. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think I am an idiot? That I was that oblivious? Let's just say, yes, you sucked at calculating risk and you're most of the time bad at predicting outcomes but what the hell? It was still you who led them to believe that they could come over and ruin the night for us.

And so I couldn't just let myself stay in there for a long while. I contacted any contact possible for an instant meet up. Most of them were worried but unfortunately, I couldn't just come over to their house to talk about the rage that I was feeling. And for the record, I was not even intending to talk about my rage, I just needed a diversion.

At last, a friend was more than willing to meet up. He said it was a perfect timing because even he himself could make use of someone to talk to. Thank God for Mark Senen.

So I told Aki (my boyfriend) that I wanted to go somewhere far from there and asked him if he could drop me off to a 24-hour coffee shop or whatever. He knew that I was so mad at him. I think I was more than mad that I could punch him in the face. But I'd rather not. It's not worth my swelling joints.

For a moment, I was thinking of picking up the gun in front of me. I was thinking I would really pull the joke that he said a while ago...me pointing a gun at his friend for ruining my night. I was really contemplating on doing it but then again, my sane mind prevailed. It doesn't sound like a professional...and beside, it was an air-soft kind of gun. Duh.

Knowing that I was deeply mad, he gladly took me anywhere I wanted. I admit I had this little drama/real power line about not needing anyone to take me anywhere because I could take care of myself. Well, it was true although it sound a bit dramatic...but true nonetheless.

So we rode unto his Green KX250 and flew the high way all the way to Coffee Lover. It is a famous coffee shop at the moment by the way. Upon stopping at the area, I saw how crowded the place was and immediately my disinterest fired up. Then I said let's find another. So I said Dunkin Donuts Santiago branch was worth a try. And again, we flew the streets...that's how he normally drives by the way. Then again, it was crowded.

He asked me if I would like him to come with me wherever I wanted and ditch his friends. Truth is, on my mind was What the fuck dude? Do you really think I don't want that? But do you really think I'd believe you that you would ditch your friends? Go to hell! Yes. I was that angry...maybe you noticed that I switched off my filter. I don't normally use these words.

But then, the all loving and understanding girlfriend said No although my own words felt like stabbing my own heart.

Behind him, I looked around after realizing that Dunkin Donuts was not for me. I found Moon Leaf--but before entering I was honestly unaware that it was actually a Milk Tea shop. I was never a fan of milk tea or any kind of tea for the record. Plus, Milk Tea are not safe nowadays because of the previous news about it killing people--yes, it was plural. But the truth is, death doesn't bother me at the moment. It seemed like I was ready...and sometimes, as harsh as it sounds, craving for it.

Forgive me Alexander Yssabelle for thinking about it.

So, lemme continue what happened that very night. So I went off his KX250 and walked straight to the Moon Leaf shop without a formal farewell. And by formal farewell, I meant a sweet goodbye and a kiss.

I hated him at the moment. But guess what I hate more?

It's the fact that I'm realizing how much I love him every time I think I hate him. Oh how fuck is that?

So I entered Moon Leaf and waited for Mark for a while. And I got to tell you, patience was never my virtue. I've always been the impatient one. And so, I ordered a Vanilla Milk Slush, grabbed a couple of old magazines, set myself to the forever alone corner and pretended to be busy. After a little while of pretense, I stabbed the Milk Slush cover with its straw and had a taste of it only to realize of my another failed common sense--it was a Milk Tea. There was this moment that I hoped that it was one of those which contained poison. But I realize that I haven't really finished writing my list of death wishes so I quickly erased the thought of dying that night.

After a literal long while, Mark came and he had a surprising haircut. His face looked so round and big. He said he let his barber shave his head leaving only a little of his hair. Haha. Okay, laugh at me the way I described it but I know you could imagine what I really meant. So the reason for the weird haircut came out as soon as it was wondered--heart problems. What more could I expect?

And so, he told me a lot of things which had been going on lately like how he and Apple broke up and how karma showed up. Well, selfishly speaking, they had their own karma. Well, it's not really that bad when I mentioned karma, what I was just saying is that it's just part of the cause and effect principle, theoretically speaking...right? Although conceptually and bluntly speaking, it's just karma. Now, it made me more certain that one should never really do awful things. You get what you give. Karma is only a matter of time. And sometimes, it was silent yet deadly.

Then we reached to that point of enough about him and time for me to speak up.

So I started telling him how my night was and the fact that I just needed a distraction. Oh, I forgot to tell you...the moment Mark arrived, I sent Aki a message saying I was with Mark because I believe he deserves to know. Conceptually speaking, it's not cool for your girlfriend to say hey, I'm having a Milk Slush moment with another dude and I just want you to know that but as of the moment, I believe I earned the right to be with anyone because I was mad at him...more than mad actually. Well, honestly speaking it couldn't be literally anyone because it would sound disrespecting if I'd have a Milk Slush moment with my ex or sort of. But seriously speaking, I believe from the bottom of my heart that the reason why it was not a big deal because he thinks most of my guy friends are gay but the ultimate reason would be because he knew deep in his heart that I don't do relationship-shitting like that. I may have a few lapses in the whole duration of our relationship but so is he.

Now that I think about it, maybe you might say I was justifying my own actions. Maybe yes. Maybe no. But realistically speaking, mine was nothing compared to all the previous bullshits he had done. But I'm not here to go down there because so far, no one was messing up with our relationship and that's pretty fine for me.

So, lemme continue my story where I was talking to Mark about what was bothering me.

On the second paragraph of this post I mentioned seeing someone who made a little impact during that night which later on turned into more than a little. 

That person I saw stopping at the gate was none other than, Mr. First Caller.

So, who is Mr. FIrst caller? Well, I named his such because he was the first person to call me using that P1 per minute call for 15 minutes promo for TM subscribers way back second year high school. Yes, it's kinda way way back but that 15-minute call was a real big deal way back high school.

To have a clearer connect the dots moment, Mr. First Caller was a previous lover (or let's just say I don't really know if it was love so forgive me for the strong word) and he happened to be friends with my current boyfriend. Well, not just any friend but a long time buddy, like elementary buddies and really long time pals and pals like that never ends.

You maybe think of me as a high school bitch but no, let me defend myself. My only mistake was not really doing a full background check on my current boyfriend before we started this thing which is still on. I never knew they were that kind of friends. Duh! I'm not the most know-everyone kind of person in our small town.

So what really happened between me and Mr. First Caller?

Everything started during our first year as high school students. Every one was having crush on someone or maybe not everyone. I remember Yana having crush with JRP without knowing that July was having crush on him, too. Rox was dating GP or whoever, I forgot who was it exactly that time. I on the other hand has no one to put my reserve crush for. And so my friends looked for someone who could be my imaginary pair so they can have someone to tease me with.

Maybe months of searching, they found Mr. First Caller. He was on his senior year, tall, really fair, skinny--when you think about it, it basically describes me as well. They thought we were perfect for each other although I know for a fact that Mr. First Caller had no idea about my existence , yet.

I paid no attention to them because I had no interest in guys at that time. But my town isn't really that big for people not to see each other even once or twice a month. There were times when we crossed each others paths. It was not that I was counting, I was just remembering them because every time it happened, my girl friends teased me. Yes, it was awkward.

But then this post is too long already hence, it deserves a part 2.

To be continued...